i’ll save black friday shopping and all it’s banality for another time. first, i want to talk about how stupid i was 
after shopping, i had the bright idea to get some betta fish. i’ve been wanting one for a while now, especially since my suite mate Bri has one and they are relatively low maintenance. we went to the BAY AQUARIUM right next to my house. i should have known to NEVER go to an asian-run aquarium, especially since the man was so shady. he kept the male betta fish in cups a little larger than a shot glass with a pea-sized air holes. they were swimming in, if not eating, their own feces :’( when some big-shot blue-tooth-wearing business man came to buy a bulk of goldfish, he filed a bag with an inch of water for at least 10 – 13 of them.
i thought i was saving a male betta fish from a life of misery and poor living conditions… boy, was i so horribly wrong. i bought one male, one female, a dual tank (less than a gallon meaning weekly cleaning), and special betta fish food – it all totaled to about $22. it was really suspicious when the asian man asked me to swipe my debit card twice… but then the aquarium in itself was suspicious. it was really dirty, and when i walked in, something nearly dripped on me. he seemed really disinterested in us being there and just went on reading his newspaper, not being assertive or helping us out or anything. he answered out questions very quickly with minimal words too 
when i got home i was really excited. i have never had a pet, much less taken care of a fish before, so i was both ecstatic and nervous.
long story short (mostly because i don’t want to go into depressing details) – they both died within a day. i broke down and cried for about 30 minutes blaming myself, and i still do, but perhaps not as much. i started getting worried when they were acting strangely — they weren’t eating, they were sluggish…
so i went online and researched. it turns out you’re not supposed to completely change their water. they’re supposed to be in warm water because they’re tropical fish (thus tap water – which i asked if it was fine – was not exactly good anyway).
so on one hand:
the man did not tell me anything. he simply sold me the fish. he didn’t even mention that girl and boy betta fish should NOT be in the same tank, even if they are not the same gender (i only knew that you were not supposed to but two males together because they’ll fight to the death). he also didn’t mention that water temperature and pH matter (something i learned via the web). the male was also in ammonia-rich water (because it was full of feces) and it didn’t look like his original home has been cleaned for more than a week (the water was murky; it was really sad – there were a whole row of shot-glass betta fish on a musty shelf).
on the other hand:
it was my fault that both of them died. i should have been responsible and researched about betta fish beforehand so that i knew how to properly take care of them. i just, on a whim, thought that they were easy maintenance because my roommate has one.
the girl (Nguoc mam – ‘fish sauce’ in vietnamese) died first, probably because she’s smaller and not used to fluctuations in pH. i took her death especially hard because i felt like i condemned her. she came from a tank and a sorority and was happy before i foolishly plucked her out to live in a bowl, pretty much.
the boy (Sparta… so i could introduce him as “this… is… SPARTA!!”) was looking really sluggish. he wasn’t eating and i think he was suffering from fin rot. his color (blue) started to grey, and his gills were not moving fast at all.
this was the part where i was breaking down.
with one down, i wished the other would die quickly as well, so that he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. i was happy that i could at least let him die with dignity in a tank with clean water (which i guess was the main reason why he died?), bigger than 4x his original home.
turns out that that wasn’t so. my aunt came over with an unwanted betta fish her family has been keeping for 3 months in a cup in their bathroom. her husband got it for free, and didn’t want it so just left it in a plastic cup, according to my cousin Ro. they told me that it was because of the water change that was making him sick (and killed the other one). my cousin said that betta fish are solitary animals and didn’t need friends or interaction as i had foolishly thought. my aunt taught me how to change their water — you’re supposed to leave it out for 2 days and slowly add the new water to their current home. she said that “they need to keep their own water. just try not to get any poop.” that made total sense. she also said that it was probably the rocks in their tank that did them in. her husband, my uncle (who also made me cry when he said, “you killed them! look! she’s dead! you can’t leave boys and girls together! that one probably beat her up!”), apparently did the same thing to his first dragon fish the first time. apparently, if you’re going to use rocks, you should soak them for about 1 week – 1 month before putting them in.
i honestly don’t know how much “i didn’t know” / my ignorance can salvage my self-respect and guilt at this point. i’m honestly very, very sad and heartbroken.
my sister brought them both in to her room last night since it was cold out in the converted storage room where they were. i was sleeping, being so exhausted with black friday shopping and crying. i woke up when she was going to bed, explaining to me. i woke up again this morning to the news that Sparta is dead (he died in a cup in drinking water. my aunt said to keep him there and slowly adjust him again to his tank water). i was obviously sad, but not entirely upset. i didn’t break down. to some extent, i am happy that he didn’t have to suffer anymore.
Now there’s only Hoison / Balthus left (i’m contemplating which one is better). i am nervous that i’ll kill him, but my sister said it’s okay and he’ll be fine. i sincerely hope so.
cute, neh?
we celebrated thanksgiving a day earlier this year since my cousin rocky was leaving for egypt on the actual thanksgiving day. what was ridiculous was that he never showed up (while i was there. 8:30 – 10:30 pm i think), and instead, was with with his friends.
so i got home and my sister was still prepping on things she wanted to bring for thanksgiving dinner. we mostly brought pastries (pumpkin pie, cornbread muffins, cookies, the salad, etc.) while my aunt slaved over the turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy (the latter two were instant, the turkey came with instructions). again, this year was celebrated with just one other family (but with the other family’s friends as well). i sufficiently did not enjoy this dinner. i only ate one plate too.
on actual turkey day, i woke up at 2pm, spent the whole day bra-less in sweats, napping, and ate mostly Peanut M&Ms, congee, and toasted bread (i love the Sunny Select / Pam-knock off oil spray with butter flavor!). super, SUPER early on turkey day (around 2am-ish), i webcamwhored. i love my room lighting. it kicks dorm lighting’s assss. i guess i can say it was an egotistical photoshoot with a frog puppet – forks, stupid expressions, flowers, and all.
i watched FROZEN RIVER (2008). it’s a really good movie about two working class women — one white, one mohawk — who smuggle illegal immigrants into the country for money from canada to somewhere in new york via a frozen river. it’s also commentary on the universality of motherhood i guess, since both women are mothers. i really feel for the white woman — poverty, part-time job, two kids, abandonment by a gambling husband. really, really sad. i really enjoyed it. i highly recommend it!
i should sleep now. black fridayyyy 
shall wake in 5 hours! we don’t wake up early for the electronics rush or anything… it just feels a lot nicer when there are less people in the mall.
it's a strange kind of love
i had planned to leave at 12:25pm via the amtrak and get to san jose at around 3pm-ish. i had it all planned out — i’d take the bus to campus at 7:50am so that i can carry my luggage, finish class, chill for an hour, eat lunch with kuljit, board the A-line bus, get to amtrak within 5 – 10 minutes, get my ticket, and be done.
TODAY WAS LIVING PROOF THAT THINGS CAN ALWAYS, AND I MEAN ALWAYS, GET WORSE
the morning bus did not come. i eventually gave up waiting for it, so just before 8am (when my class starts), i decided walking was my only option. it just sucks that i live off campus, i’m carrying luggage, and in order to walk to school i needed to circle around the whole building (because of the bus stop location)… in flats. yea, not a great experience! i eventually got to class… it was kind of funny because i opened the door and everyone looked at me. some snickered since i was rolling luggage and a little out of breath. i don’t think i missed too much though. class was normal (sans some students… but they never really talk anyway so not much to miss)–boring as hell.
oh i got an 89 on my final. it’s pretty decent considering i thought i was going to get a 75 since i totally bullshitted the paper… i don’t even get what the fuck my point was xD
after class, i just chilled at the silo (a pit stop of sorts? with a canteen? places where buses stop and across is a huge barn filled with food and places to eat) until 11am. initially, i was planning on boarding the 11am bus to the amtrak, but kuljit said she didn’t want to get on campus that early (ok… she implied it), so i relented and decided to take the 12pm bus instead. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE ON MY PART. but anyhoo, i treated her out to lunch. we talked, including my “sexiling” (as said by my sister) by my roommate and her boyfriend the past weekend. we also agreed that i should live with her next year, so that’s settled =D
the bus was super crowded. like literally filled to the brim with people squished all next to each other. the bus driver… though i understand that he’s just doing his job… was a total douche puppy. i hope swine flu befalls him for not moving the fucking bus even though no one got on after 5 minutes…
i ended up late at the amtrak. the lady yelled, “the train isn’t going to wait for you! i suggest if you can’t print out your ticket then bring your reservation print-out and pay an extra $9!!”
not wanting to miss the train, i ran. hurt my ankle in the process but i got on… only to realize i did not have the extra $9. i would’ve, except i spent that $10 bill on shitty Chinese food at THE OLD TEAHOUSE (fuckkk you!! *sob*). so i got off before they would kick me off when they find out i don’t have anything. incredibly shitty.
turns out the next departure for san jose was at 3:50pm. i had no other choice; i stayed at the amtrak station for the next 3 hours. i befriended a girl who had missed the train too. she had the most SHITTIEST boyfriend i have ever seen in real life (he kept blowing up at her for missing the train and causing him to wait with her for 3 hours).
me: “oh are you guys siblings? friends?”
girl: “oh no he’s my boyfriend”
fucking loser of a boyfriend: “but i’m thinking about reconsidering that! >:(“
me: “oh no don’t say that! that’s mean! :0″
fucking loser of a boyfriend: “( ಠ_ಠ)”
me: “(O.O)( ；ﾟДﾟ) oh but don’t mind me! i’m just a stranger, so…. *looks away*”
so eventually i minded my own business and started watching a movie on my laptop. the girl joined me eventually, and when my laptop was starting to run low on battery, i went looking for a plug. her boyfriend was using not one, but both, plugs – one for his laptop and his external hard drive.
i feigned ignorance and coyly asked, “oh are you using both of them?”
fucking loser of a boyfriend: “yea”
hellloooo, sir. your girlfriend and i are both watching a movie on my laptop. the least you can do is let me charge it up a little while your completely charged laptop runs. don’t be such a douche bag!
W E L L , H E T U R N E D O U T T O B E A ( N U G L Y ) D O U C H E B A G .
eventually i had to stop the movie and charge my laptop while standing up and balancing my laptop on a rail and in the middle of the amtrak line formation just because that was the only other outlet i could find.
the amtrak ride itself… was crowded. the first empty seat i found, i decided to be polite and ask the girl if it was alright for me to sit here. her response, “no it’s taken for someone on the next stop.”
i hate how, moments later, the conductor on the PA goes, “ok guys this is the busiest time of the year. you buy a ticket and it’s only for ONE person. there is NO reserving seats, alright? it’s illegal and out of line considering we have people sitting on the floor here!” i found an empty seat diagonal to the one i should have gotten (and i say “should have” because it’s true).
the ride was long and tedious. i was able to finish my movie
200 LB. BEAUTY – [Korean] good but i skipped some parts as i deemed them kind of boring and lagging… the actress / character cried waaaay too much. focused on superficiality and the topic of plastic surgery (her surgery was impossible on more levels than just a safety hazard, impossible time interval, and realistic potential). fun and light-hearted (to some extent).
i was then going to start on another Korean movie – one that i’ve heard rave reviews about – Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. i shedded a tear after only 12 minutes in! i would’ve kept on with it too, except there was a scene with a whole bunch of boys masturbating and then i skipped to another scene… turns out it is sexual too. the guy diagonally behind could and WAS see(ing) what i was watching. creepy as hell, as it is. i deemed that SFMV was not amtrak-safe, so i turned off my laptop and just watched the scenery with ipod blasting. it was nice. i feel asleep eventually too. woke up to drool and a sore neck.
more later should sleep now.
the billing info for our next quarter came out, and i wanted to check it but could not access it. i asked idy for help. i stood there asking her while she talked to herself / talked to her roommate.
okay, i asked again.
no answer. she totally ignored me.
what a bitch.
so i just walked away back to my room. still haven’t figured it out. will probably ask my own roommate once she gets back to her desk.
[/edit]
oh god and my roommate. she keeps blasting music. IT’S CALLED HEAD / EARPHONES. i know you have a pair. fucking use them. i don’t want to hear your fucking web conversations with your boyfriend, ok?
so i found out that my roommate has been using my shampoo today. i suspected it over the weekend, but this time i know FOR SURE. my shampoo bottle is one of those giant costco value bottles with the snappy cap. i absolutely HATE the thought of leaving it unclosed, allowing water to enter through the little hole (hehehehe) and mix with my shampoo.
so what did i find today? snappy cap is TOTALLY not snapped! it wasn’t the last time either, but i just chalked it up to coincidence / a topic of mid-level concern. there is no way in hell that i would forget to close the cap twice. to make sure, i checked her shampoo bottle. TOTALLY EMPTY. i mean, i guess it has been for a while since it hasn’t been standing upright for at least a week. i didn’t think much of it because… well, gravity exists (yes, i am a believer! but i am still somewhat of a skeptic about the US moon landing).
BITCH, NOW YOU’RE STEALING MY SHAMPOO??!
doesn’t help with the fact that her hair is at least 3 feet long. and she’s got loads of it! but honestly, i wouldn’t mind at all if it weren’t for the fact that she didn’t ask. if she had just informed me instead of having me find out about this way (i bet her fucking boyfriend used it too), then i wouldn’t feel as if my trust was betrayed. just like with the chocolate milk and the apples. all i’m asking is to be informed when you want to take / use my shit, you know? is that too much to ask??!! apparently so.
while showering i was contemplating whether or not to leave the giant shampoo bottle where it was and allow her to continuing acting as if she wasn’t using it. i mean, yea i feel bad that she’s buying toilet paper and brought a bathroom rug and all that shit, BUT to my defense, we could get FREE toilet paper from the ACD (sorry my ass doesn’t care if it’s being wiped by cheap paper. free is free). the rug… i have nothing.
BUT she acts as if she totally owns this room. the fridge which is supposed to be shared, is in her side of the room, facing her bed (making me feel like a user when i put apples in it). she uses ALL (and i mean ALL) of the bathroom sink cabinets, filling it with her hairdryers, straighteners, etc.
so i decided, i was going to take it out. right then, as if something of a higher order said, “fuck you, diana! don’t be such a stingy bitch!!”, my soap and it’s plastic container fell and hit me right in the stomach before crashing with the shower tiles (causing the container to chip). well, you know what? fuck you, providence!! i took it out anyway and put it on a high shelf, wondering if she would ask me to if she could use it tomorrow or just take it and put it back.
feeling bad, i put it on my dresser, so that she could take it without asking if she really wanted to. but i placed it in a certain way to see if she would notice (and put it back in the same way) because i’m vindictive and evil like that. word of advice audri: when you’re using other people’s shit without telling them, put it back the EXACT same way so that they won’t notice. she would have gotten away with it too if she didn’t get lazy and fucking snapped the cap.
well i’m sure she’ll restock her shampoo when we come back from thanksgiving break anyway.
so anyway, today i wasted 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE waiting for Kuljit, only to get a response that she was planning on staying in her apartment because she just got back from san jose. why the fuck do you have to go back every weekend? it’s absolutely ridiculous, not to mention a waste of time, gas, and money. i need to call her tomorrow and ask if i can catch a ride back with her though. my parents don’t like driving me to davis since they’re just going to drop me off and then go back. that’s like 4 hours right there, and they have better things to do. by the way, i TOTALLY overpay her for letting me hitch a ride with her. it costs $15 to fill her tank, i pay her $20 every other time i ride with her, so i’m basically paying for her gas half the time. oh well. i guess i make her come back on sundays when she drives me back since i have an early 8am class and she doesn’t have a class until 1pm. so i guess i’m paying her for time as well (that sounds so wrong on so many levels haha).
today Idy told me i need to make more friends because while she was spending 3 hours (and a lot of 2am mornings) wither her friends at the DC, i was in my room being all hermit-like. THE FUCK??! i am fine, thank you. i do not need to hang out with and get picked up by a bajillion boys, kthnx (although i would like to haha). she dumped me too, to live in a house with her anime club friends next year even though she was the one who suggested we live together. thanks for being reliable …well i guess that’s good, in a way. i kind of wanted to live in kuljit’s super cheap-o apartments hehehe.
’nuff ranting, ’nuff said.
[ / e d i t ] : hmmm… lots of f-bombs in this post 
IT’S OFFICIAL: MY ROOMMATE STEALS MY FOOD.
there were 5 apples when i took one to eat last night. there were like 3 when i took one to eat 5 minutes ago.
and then let’s not forget the chocolate milk from last time. her and her effing bf man!!1
ARRGH!!! >:(
i haven’t done squat this weekend. i woke up at like 2:30pm, and decided to just out and eat with my roomies. we went to THE OLD TEAHOUSE which is chinese food and boba restaurant.
boba was delicious, chinese food was not. i decided to be adventurous and order something that sounds decent. turns out it was just wide noodles with a ton of cabbage and mushrooms and some meat (they gave me the WORST part of the pig too… not cool, man!). oh how i regrettt… i found a piece of plastic wrapper in my food too. and my roommate actually sent her food back because it smelled odd. i thought it smelled fine, but to each his own i guess.
i officially want to barf now. the food was plain and somewhat nasty (REALLY OILY). i might come back. and if i do, it’s just for the boba.
should begin reading now.
on friday i got to use my rainboots for the first time! awesome~! i looked like a dork though because my pants bunched up around it and so i looked like i was wearing MC Hammer pants / Aladdin pants LOL. didn’t help that they were too big for my feet.
got to wear them for the first time on friday. very difficult to walk in!
i’m so excited to home for thanksgiving! i get out at 10am on wednesday and plan to take the amtrak (expensive shit – $30 one way) all the way home. it’s about a 2.5 / 3 hour ride, and i’ve gotten tips to NOT sleep (else someone will jack your shit).
today was sufficiently wasted. i was getting along with my reading, but my roommate’s boyfriend came over so i quickly evacuated my room to give them privacy (and to avoid being weirded out). i was stuck in the living area with the TREMENDOUSLY LOUD Transformer 2: Revenge of the Fallen being played. i fell asleep, but even if i didn’t, i could already tell the movie was ridiculous. the reasoning just wasn’t there. it was an orgasmic visual experience though, i must say.
i played around with mystery google after hearing ravings about it on MLIA, and i don’t get all the hype. i’d rather chat with a stranger online.
so anyhoo, i didn’t get any work done today, so i tried supplementing it by doing some notes at 1am. yea, my roommate and her boyfriend are …too sexually-charged? throughout the day, i would come in to find myself in awkward situations. i came in to get a bowl and my water bottle to find them both in the restroom together… AGAIN. and then i walked in on them with her straddled on his back. and then while i was doing my notes i heard snippits of conversation like “you’re nasty!”, “stopppp! don’t do that, perv!”, “we can’t!”, “shh! diana is here”, etc. etc.
YEA JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MY EARPHONES ON AND AM CONSTANTLY UPPING THE VOLUME DOES NOT MEAN I CANNOT HEAR YOU
sufficiently crappy day. made even more so after the Joseph Gordon Levitt hosted episode of SNL epically failed. i did not laugh… not even once
so first things first, i found out that daul kim died today. at 20 years old too. i didn’t know much about her, but i’ve heard of her. so when i found she possibly committed suicide, i spent an hour reading her blog. needless to say, she is one of the most interesting models i’ve come across (on the net). her blog… makes her seem so much more tangible and human… like with feelings. she’s so intellectual too! i noticed that ‘daulmonster’ always had “say hi to…” in her blog title, and i found that very amusing and so… “her”. lots of microblogging and pictures too. i feel inspired to pump BONNET with more than just the emotional shit that i’ve been talking about lately… but it’s kind of hard haha!
i pretty much bombed my chemistry quiz today. no joke, no understatement. i just… don’t get mole conversion. which makes me really sad, because it’s a quiz and there were only like 13 questions. i then bought dinner – Carl’s Jr.
my skin is going down the crapper. i keep getting acne outbreaks. and i blame stress, Carl’s (even though I love you!), and cheese-infested DC food. i need to start shedding the lbs. too
i felt so idiotic today. i actually did my suitemate’s homework. looking back on that, i wonder why i let myself be used? i mean, i offered to because she had a flight to LA (to watch the new moon premiere), but i’m doing her a disservice since she doesn’t really get chemistry. i realized halfway through that i’m just solidifying my status as the weirdo, pushy, suppah-nerdy asian kid. how i regret… and yet i don’t. i like helping her out, especially since it was due tonight.
so all my roommates are going to watch Twilight: New Moon tomorrow. I won’t be going because i’d like to stay twilight-free… perhaps i’ll go to the theatre, but watch something else instead it all depends
This is what I've been eating for dinner lately. like 2 orders of this + a bbq sandwich. VERY OILY, VERY UNHEALTHY... but delicious!
my 8am class is canceled tomorrow due to the UC strike. although I am glad to be able to catch some extra shut eye, I’m a little disappointed that I will not be able to see my English teacher. This crush has turned into some crazy, creepy obsession… well I think so anyway. I feel disgusted with myself to fancy someone that I don’t even know, but I suppose that’s a main reason to be fascinated by someone — their mystery, i.e. when you get to know them better, you become… disenchanted? disillusioned of sorts, anyway.
I donated blood today, and I’m quite proud. the process took a little longer than it should though because I decided to be honest and check mark the YES box on the question “Have you lived with a person who has hepatitis within the last 12 months?”
my mom has Hep B, so do most of her siblings. I think they got it while they were leaving Vietnam or something, I’m not entirely sure, but it explains why she’s sick and why my uncle was so horribly sick for so long. I wouldn’t even have realized, but I was looking through my birth records and came across a document that confirmed she was positive. I don’t think it’s passable from mother to child, but I’m not entirely sure. the questions the lady asked me was a tad ridiculous – “have you had any physical contact with your mother in the last 12 months? like sharing a razor or food or…?”
OBVIOUSLY, SHE’S MY MOM DUH!
but no, we don’t share razors or the like, so i said “no.” back to my point – i did donate blood (3rd time), and i did it in optimal time (7 minutes). the lady was really nice, probably because i look really young and i was wearing my big-ass glasses making me look like this was my first time. Blood Source kinda owns Red Cross though, I must admit. They let you choose the color of your bandage!!
after, I went to class, and had dinner at the DC (Italian night!). I didn’t really talk to anyone because it was a huge group, and I feel uncomfortable with the guys (our neighbors). I should probably not be blogging anymore 
